Showing posts with label feature. Show all posts
Showing posts with label feature. Show all posts

9.22.2015

Kickboxing in Color: The Racial Politics of Angel Town



I would like to wish Karl, Jade, and the entirety of the Fist of B-List interweb movie review site and all that she stands for a Happy 5th Anniversary. But rather than send over chocolates or gift certificates, I'm sending over some rambling thoughts about a film already covered on this here blog: The 1990 Kickboxer vs. Cholos actioner Angel Town, directed by Eric Karson and starring Olivier Gruner. If you haven't read Karl's review, I suggest you do that first, but hey if you wanna read my BS now instead, why not? It's a free country, do whatever you want.

(Unless you're reading this in a not-free country, which in that case -- ¡Viva La Revolución!)

When I first watched this film back during a youth filled with hope and optimism, I was pleased as the proverbial punch to see a movie with so many actors who looked more like me than the usual clean-cut All-American Non-Tans who occupy most of moviedom. Never mind that these actors were portraying evil Latino gang members terrorizing cowardly/helpless Latino innocents (aka The Good Ones) and that it takes the courage and strength of a new neighbor/kickboxing grad student from France -- FRANCE!!! -- to set things white, I mean right.

As you can see, I'm driving down a very familiar neighborhood containing streets with names like Chip On Your Shoulder Blvd., and I'm approaching my destination with a question: Just where is Angel Town coming from, racially speaking?

I mean, if you've seen the film, you might -- maybe -- pick up on what I've not only been getting at, but slamming over your head with during the last couple paragraphs. But if not, read on because somewhere in here will be examples of whatever my point is supposed to be, if I even have one. (Helpful Hint: I don't.)

The film opens with the title song performed by someone with the same last name as the director, but it ain't bad. The vocals have a bit of the Joe Strummer to it, and this dude is singing about what a scary mean place this Angel Town is. This is a place where one must stand his ground because there are "devils all around", but he ain't singing about those White Devils you usually hear the militants go on about -- he's talking about the shaded seraphs that occupy East Los Angeles, California.

We are then introduced to a couple of Black dudes walking down a vacant area and they're wearing bandanas and carry with them the swagger of the Backed Up, but hey I'm not going to straight out call them gang members because that would be profiling and I don't roll like that, bro. But let's just call them gang members.

So these gang members are then accosted by a group of white-ish/brown-ish dudes who I think are supposed to be from a rival gang but they look more like the cover of Rival Turf!, that old SNES Final Fight ripoff that sucked but had the minor saving grace of allowing you to change the names of all the characters, resulting in a game where you and your friend Johnny beat up guys named Jerry, Christian, and David, because screw those guys -- they were invited but didn't show up. Some birthday party, eh?

Anyway, yeah, this group of leather jacket wearers (one featuring a logo for The Clash) start beating up on the darker variables of this human equation and everything is sunshine and overly-loud sound effects until a couple more Black guys show up to punch up the opposition, but then a pick-up truck carrying what appears to be Latino gang members disguised as day laborers screeches into the proceedings and we now have ourselves a good old-fashioned donnybrook.

We have Latinos beating up on Blacks, until one of the Latinos -- the one who looks more like a tanned Anglo than a genuine Brown -- sneaks over to the pick-up truck, pulls out an UZI and proceeds to fire wildly into the crowd. This is the same guy who instigated the fight, so it made me wonder if this was some kind of metaphor from the filmmakers about how the White Man will infiltrate the Black and Hispanic communities and stir shit up among them, getting it to such a fever pitch that they eventually turn on each other, thus allowing Whitey to do his thing -- storming in with militarized weaponry to eliminate the problem with righteous justification in the name of all things Good and Lawful.

And it is at that point that we cut to a gentleman watching all of this from a safe distance in his lowrider. He is the titular Angel, and he smiles while watching the fisticuffs turn into a shoot-em-up. But why? Has he figured out Whitey's plan, and now the gears are turning in his head towards a plan to bring together Brown and Black in peace, and fight the real enemy?

Nope, he's the villain. Later on he shows up flaunting his very own UZI to terrorize the helpless. But because this film takes place in a universe where Chris Rock's routine about charging thousands of dollars for bullets is a reality, he very very very rarely fires it.

I was disappointed in his non-unifying/pro-UZI ownership actions, but then I thought again of everything I just wrote and determined that, No, the filmmakers weren't trying to make a point, they just wanted to get the audience's attention. 


So I continued watching the film looking for examples of...something?...oh yeah, something racial because that's what I said I would write about, right? Oh! OK, I think I have something. This here is a film where maybe maybe MAYBE director Karson and writer S. Warren give us an honest portrayal of racial attitudes exhibited not only by the bad guys/secondary characters (the Black gang leader refers to the Latino gang as "grape pickers"), but even the hero is weak enough to make a questionable statement, if not straight up hate speech.

Por ejemplo, later in the film, our hero Jacques (Gruner) is in class and the professor asks him to point out something wrong with the equation on the chalkboard. Because Jacques is the hero of the film, and therefore an ass-kicker AND a smarty-pants, he answers correctly. The Arab student sitting right next to Jacques says in a non-whisper to another student "Leave it to the fucking frog!" Uh-uh bros, Jacques ain't having that. He grabs the dude's tie and pulls him in with "That's Mister Frog to you, raghead."

And then in the following scene -- OK wait let me set it up for you: There's this kid Martin Ordonez who lives in the neighborhood currently being terrorized by Angel and his gang. See, Angel killed Martin's father a few years ago for standing up to the Brown menace and now Angel wants Martin in his gang. Kinda weird, if you ask me. I mean, why does Angel want/need Martin in his gang so bad that he's now beating up/chasing the poor boy around town? This kid can't fight for shit and he's kind of a self-pity parade -- a real buzzkill, if you ask me. Such is the logic of your average Hispanic gang leader.

Anyway, yeah, so Jacques walks in on weak-ass Martin referring to his neighborhood as being occupied by "dumbass Chicanos". He decides to teach the boy a lesson by explaining to this know-nothing jerkwad that if he (and his late father) live in the same neighborhood then he (and his late father) too is a "dumbass Chicano". What I like about those two scenes is that Jacques is using racially negative language against the offending party. In the case of Martin calling his own people "dumbass Chicanos", I think Jacques was trying to set him straight when it comes to saying stupid things -- think before you speak, young man!

(The final tally for "dumbass Chicanos": THREE)

And while calling the Arab a "raghead" is pretty darn harsh, his point still stands in that words like "raghead" and "frog" hurt. Or at least I hope that's his point. I mean, maybe Jacques (and Karson and Warren) are of the messed-up mindset that Jacques' use of racist language is justified and that the dirty evil terrorist better keep his mouth shut here in 'Murica: The Greatest Country in the World and Don't You Forget It.

It's the last part that kinda bugs me, because maybe that's where Warren & Karson are coming from. Later in the film, Jacques breaks into Angel's house while he's asleep (Angel, not Jacques -- but hell, Jacques is so damn good I can buy him doing some badass sleepwalking type stuff) and puts a knife to his throat, threatening him to leave Martin and his mom alone or else Angel will be "riding with Pancho Villa".

That's a funny line and all, but I do wonder why he had to take it there. If you, the reader, think I'm being too sensitive about this, well maybe I am. But I have to find something to write about here, so give me a break, you butt-hurt bastard. What I'm saying is that let's change Angel to Anfernee and have Jacques say "Leave the Ordonez family alone, or you'll be joining Martin Luther King Jr. in the promised land!" and perhaps you'll see my point. Or you'll miss my point and only notice how clumsy my line would be for an actor to say. "Riding with Pancho Villa" does have a better flow to it, I'll admit.

That Villa line, though, here's the thing with that line -- and even the Frog line -- it kinda feels less like something Jacques would say and something writer S. Warren would say? Like, I don't know who this S. Warren is or why he or she chose to initial his or her first name, or whether these lines were even in his or her original script, but if I had to guess and then put money on the guess, well my bet would be on Warren being Not-A-Dark-Ethnic and maybe these kinds of moments come from the dude or dudette's soul. Which is not to say that only Not-A-Dark-Ethnics can feel a certain way -- certainly not, even those deep into the ranks of Other/Foreign can have political beliefs about their own that would even make Donald Trump clutch his pearls -- but in this case I'm being just as general and unfair as those I accuse of being general and unfair because it helps my argument.

And what is that argument, sir? Hell if I know. OK, wait. Maybe calling an Arab a "raghead" or using Mexican revolutionary historical figures in a threat against a Brown tickled Warren pink. Maybe writing that stuff was less about a fitting line for the character to say and more about an angry middle-class Anglo guy/gal who drives to work everyday listening to Rush Limbaugh while trying his/her best to write a screenplay about a French kickboxer who rents a room in East L.A. and stands up to the Latino gang who won't stop messing with the boy and mother who live in the house. Maybe even in the most impersonal for-hire screenplay gigs, a writer can still leave traces of his/her personality one way or another. Maybe said traces pop up in the dialogue. Maybe I just smoke too much herb.

Haha, "maybe".

--EFC

9.14.2015

My B-Grade Martial Arts Journey



I sit in my room, take a good look around at my selection of B-Grade Martial Arts films, and I wonder, "What the hell got me to this point?" What was it that inspired me to now rummage through bargain bins and closing-down video store sales to find that next B-Grade gem? My journey, or as some may say my 'descent into crap cinema', actually started with a film which is not craptacular in any sense of the word: Enter the Dragon. My mother is a massive Bruce Lee fan, and I distinctly remember her taping it for me on VHS when I was five. Even for a young kid I did like action violence, especially in the cartoons I watched -- I think at the time I thought of myself to be a bit of a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles connoisseur. Enter the Dragon was a big stretch from the Ninja Turtles, but I remember just how mesmerized I was with Bruce Lee from that very first moment I saw him kick the crap out of Bob Wall.

Enter the Dragon gave me that taste for Martial Arts, but where did the cheese start to seep into the form of greasy pony tails, fire-up montage songs and one-liners? I tell you where it started: Bloodsport. This was a film we taped multiple times off the TV and rented on VHS, and the more I watched it, the more it became a second skin.  Bloodsport then lead to my favourite Van Damme film of all time, Kickboxer which, as a kid under the age of 10, started to develop my bloody taste for violence and awesome soundtracks. From then on, video store trips became more frequent, with my older brother with us renting films such as Best of the Best 1-4, No Retreat No Surrender, American Kickboxer, American Ninja 1-4, Black Belt Jones, and Wrong Bet (aka Lionheart). This is the tiniest fraction of what we rented on a regular basis.

In the 1980s and even more so in the 90s you could rent just about everything, no matter how B-Grade and low budget the film was. So, finding a film with Lorenzo Lamas wearing a bandanna and shirtless on the front cover wasn't like trying to find a needle in a haystack, like it is now. I just lived for every Friday after school because that was when we rented movies, and with each week that passed, my love for bad synthesised music and brutal choreography grew.

I know that this genre of film gets a lot of crap, and to those people who don't understand just how creative this genre is, I say go play in front of incoming traffic. Yeah, you can shut your brain off to this stuff, especially if you have seen these kinds of films a lot and just need it for a comforting sound in the background -- hey, that's what I do sometimes. But to be honest, in the majority of these films there are a lot of redeeming qualities. And viewers of the genre should also remember the majority of these 'actors' aren't actually actors at all -- they are Martial Artists who managed to get lucky and be in a feature film. Or they could have made it themselves because let's face it -- who didn't want to be the next Jean-Claude Van Damme? And since these guys are physically fit and very experienced in a specific martial art that they have trained in, you have to give them some respect. In a way, you could say they are method actors in their own right.


I love B-Grade Martial Arts, not just for the choreography, but I really enjoy it for the predictable storyline. Revenge is always on the mind, as well showcasing your best Karate moves and not to mention fitting in a little time for a cheap romance -- the leading lady is usually a reporter or a sweet girl from the wrong side of the tracks who fell in with the wrong crowd. This predictability is what makes these films. As a viewer you want an easy-to-follow plot, with some memorable characters and good quality fight choreography. Oh! -- and a killer soundtrack.

If you take these kinds of films seriously, then you won't enjoy the ride. So here's a few tips to make sure you get what you want from this genre:
  • Leave your high standards for film at the door
  • If you are watching them with friends, make sure they have a similar stance on these films
  • Don't look too much into the plot, as you may be disappointed if you do
  • Learn to laugh at the bad acting - My life has become so much richer because of this
  • Understand that it's perfectly fine to switch your brain off for 90 minutes and not take what you are watching so seriously.
  • Embrace these films for what they are
Films have come and gone, and I have seen thousands of these kinds of films, but here is a top 15 list of B-Grade films which made me stick at researching this genre and enjoying the absolute shit out of it for the last 23 years.
  1. King of the Kickboxers
  2. To the Death
  3. Kickboxer II: The Road Back
  4. American Ninja 4
  5. No Retreat No Surrender
  6. Best of the Best II
  7. American Kickboxer
  8. Samurai Cop
  9. Bloodfist
  10. Undefeatable
  11. The Last Dragon
  12. Blood and Bone
  13. Showdown in Little Tokyo
  14. Bloodmoon
  15. Undisputed II

9.09.2015

10 Chopsocky Training Montages to Make You Feel the Burn


The training montage is one of the building blocks of almost any martial arts film (East or West) where the protagonist(s) must physically and mentally prepare for fierce competition. As the genre developed and the trope proliferated, the training methods became more elaborate and visually interesting. Trainers became firmer in their methods. Stan Bush sound-alike tracks skyrocketed in volume. As you read along, be sure to hit the YouTube playlist below for the ten leanest and meanest chopsocky training montages to make you grunt and grimace your way to high spirits and improved flexibility. Shirts optional.


Blood Hands (1990)
Sean Donahue as Steve Callahan
What this montage lacks in appropriate lighting or film stock, it makes up for with … well, logs, I guess. But the other unique touch that sticks out is Sean’s sadistic girlfriend acting as his trainer despite no kickboxing knowledge whatsoever, and she’s far from the passive dolt her blank stare in the beginning of the clip would lead you to believe. She beats the shit out of Sean with a wood plank while he’s doing crunches and screams like a banshee while he’s trying to do push-ups. Put a ring on it!

Honor and Glory (1993)
Donna Jason as Joyce Pride
This is basically a hammock meditation sandwich with a Tai Chi practice filling -- and that’s not a bad thing. Jason, who did two of Godfrey Ho’s Stateside films and nothing else, chills in a hammock tied across her front porch while balancing a bo staff in the opening shot. What happens if UPS needs to deliver a package? Tough shit homie, leave it on the lawn. The scene ends in the same place with a slight wrinkle: Jason answers a ringing telephone USING THE BO STAFF. Martial arts: the quicker picker upper (of telephone receivers).

Showdown (1993)
Kenn Scott as Ken Marx
This one is a fat slab of Gruyere: montage fromage. You’ll recall that Billy Blanks plays a kindly karate-cop-turned-high-school-janitor and between his basketball hurling and random thumbs-up, he’s at Tae-Bo levels of motivation here. This has the worst music in the bunch by far, but it’s the best montage featuring Ben Stiller’s future wife who looks like Marcia Brady, and Jenny McCarthy’s future ex-husband who looks like a cocaine-thin Anthony Michael Hall.

Fighting Spirit (1992)
Loren Avedon as David Carster
What happens when you pair taekwondo legend Loren Avedon and Filipino exploitation supporting actor Jerry Beyer? If you answered “stretching and sparring backed by fuzzy wah-wah guitar and a disco beat” you win a lifetime supply of confused stares from chopsocky fans. The montage itself is nothing special but I admire the epic troll-job of taking a standard training scene and pairing it with funky library music instead of the customary “inspirational” rock track.

Sakura Killers (1987)
George Nicholas as Dennis; Mike Kelly as Sonny
No list of training montages is complete without at least one entry from the ninja film subgenre. This one has George Nicholas and Mike Kelly throwing shurikens, punching bundles of straw, cutting bamboo, climbing trees, and running endlessly through mountain ranges and what appears to be the Gobi Desert. Did I mention the scene ends with the ninjas and their master disappearing in a cloud of smoke? Because ninjas, I guess.

No Retreat, No Surrender (1986)
Kurt McKinney as Jason Stillwell
There’s some tremendous irony in the fact that a film featuring Jean Claude Van Damme -- a star who took the training blueprint from the Rocky franchise and revolutionized it for the martial arts set -- has great training scenes where he doesn’t even appear! You know the training is intense when your upside-down suspended ab-crunches and one-finger push-ups empty out the public park. Maybe it was the short-shorts and the uh .... thrusting that sent everyone running? Don’t judge, readers -- come talk to me when you’ve vanquished a Soviet kickboxer who broke your dad’s leg and single-handedly destroyed Seattle karate.


Superfights (1995)
Brandon Gaines as Jack Cody
A lot of these montages place an emphasis on old-school simplicity: exercises in rustic settings, primitive equipment (e.g. wood, pulleys), and older grizzled trainers. Superfights takes it in the other direction. Your typical wooden dummy is replaced by plastic tubes that illuminate on contact. The heavy bag is replaced by a column of light that runs floor to ceiling. Even the choice of trainer -- Angel, played by the undersung Kelly Gallant -- is a progressive improvement on the formula. Oh, and the protagonist is popping colorful pills containing a combination of mind-control drugs and steroids. Why, again, is this scene so much different than the others? Oh, right -- this training montage is on drugs.

Trained to Kill (1989)
Frank Zagarino as Matt Cooper; Glen Eaton as Sam
How do you enhance a training montage that features vengeful half-brothers doing standard exercises like sunset beach jogging, push-ups, tandem leg-throws, and jump-rope? You combine slo-mo, close-up grimaces, and cutaways to Frank Zagarino making out with Lisa Aliff and you get the hell out of the way. Whatever this montage lacks in novelty, it delivers in style, strangely literal lyrics in its New Order-esque rock track, and impassioned speeches about finding your “center” in the “jungle” from Ron “Superfly” O’Neal.

Breathing Fire (1991)
Jonathan Ke Quan as Charlie Moore; Eddie Saavedra as Tony Moore
I had no recollection that this montage was so good and I *really* wanted to put this at numero uno, if only for its wildly thorough approach -- this one has everything. Punching through phone books nailed into trees. Master pummeling students’ shins and forearms with sticks. Crushing watermelons beyond eatability. Sunset beach running. Blindfolded sparring between multicultural brothers. We should all be watching Breathing Fire right now instead of reading (or writing) Internet listicles.

King of the Kickboxers (1990)

Loren Avedon as Jake Donahue
As far as Western chopsocky films go, this might the end-all, be-all of training montages. Drunken master? Check. Trainee striking and also being struck by flying logs? YUP. Overly elaborate pulley system designed to improve groinal dexterity? OH YEAH. Much credit goes to Avedon, who was willing to hand himself over to some wacky training methods that look alternately torturous and character-building. What really sets this scene apart is the pretext (demonstration of the villain’s signature attacks) at the beginning of the film that makes the climactic call-back (Jake using his training to counter-attack) both logical in the narrative and rewarding for the viewer. Concise but effective.

What would you add? What have I missed?

6.22.2015

Second Look: The Clowns, Sleaze, and Cheese of TO THE DEATH

For action junkies Jade and Karl, there’s at least one film in the chopsocky universe that stands out like a smoking clown in a fancy restaurant. They recently held a virtual roundtable to discuss the weirdness and lasting legacy of To the Death, a 1993 pseudo-sequel to American Kickboxer 1 starring John Barrett and Michel Qissi.

How did you originally learn about this movie?
JADE: I originally heard about To the Death when a friend of mine taped it with Universal Soldier and Kickboxer all on one VHS. He said it was pretty damn awesome, and my god he was right. 
KARL: I was charting John Barrett’s filmography. I liked him in American Kickboxer and Merchants of War and felt he was a solid dramatic actor for a genre that has so few of them. When I saw that this was a quasi-sequel, I jumped right on it. 


In American Kickboxer, Brad Morris played the part of Jacques Denard as a cocky asshole. Michel Qissi took over the role for this film and seems unreasonably angry the whole time. What did you think about the differences between the performances? Did you prefer one over the other?
JADE: I completely agree with Brad Morris being a cocky asshole. When I first saw American Kickboxer I was thinking "Oh, you better get what you deserve you jerkburger!" I still like Michel Qissi's portrayal of Denard but again, I agree, he was way too angry, and he just seemed to chuck a tantrum over ANYTHING. It reminded me of a spoilt toddler who cries when he is told he can't have something. I also think as Qissi had played Tong Po in Kickboxer, maybe he was still wanting to be seen as the bad guy and thought acting overly tough meant menacing, which alas just isn't the case.
KARL: Interesting that you bring up the residual effects of the Tong Po role. Don’t get me wrong: I like Qissi, especially as a fierce villain, but I feel like that’s the only mode he knows. Morris injected so much flamboyance and goofball dickery into the Denard character, so it’s hard for me to reconcile that with Qissi’s more one-dimensional performance.

The character of BJ Quinn in American Kickboxer is called Rick Quinn here. How did you account for this change?
JADE: I actually didn't notice the name change until years later, as I watched To the Death a lot more than I watched American Kickboxer (the latter was a lot harder to find in video stores in Australia). I didn't really see the point as to why they needed to change the name. It was probably changed as in some way they didn't want to be officially tied to American Kickboxer, but still wanted to keep that rivalry, so they only changed half the name and kept the main protagonist, as the fans of American Kickboxer will still be able to relate to him or “understand” his story more.
KARL: It feels like an alternate-universe aftermath of American Kickboxer, like the tangent 1985 from Back to the Future II. This story could even be BJ Quinn having a fucked up dream after eating sugar too close to bedtime. That said, American Kickboxer 2 had nothing to do with American Kickboxer 1, so the jury’s out: I have no clue whatsoever. Probably some weird rights ownership thing.

What's up with the ring announcer in clown make-up?
JADE: Oh man, that ring announcer scared the hell out of me when I first saw this at 15 (I have a huge fear of clowns). But throughout the years, I have put that out of my head and I actually compare him to the Master of Ceremonies from Cabaret as he has that over the top if not camp like quality and he uses that quality to put his point across. I think it's actually awesome having that ring announcer there, I think it shows a level of theatrics so people going to these fights will think it's very grand and unlike anything else.
KARL: So many of these movies featuring “underground fights for an audience of elites” still feel like they’re filmed in the same dingy back room with same refs and announcers. But the fights here take place in fancy restaurants and nightclubs with a chain-smoking dude in a tuxedo and clown paint telling tasteless jokes. Good or bad, it makes the film feel different.


Why does the referee kill the losing fighter with a gun instead of just letting the winning fighter kill the loser?
JADE: I truly believe they kill the losing fighter as a means of control. While the money is great that you are given if you win, but the stakes are incredibly high. I mean c'mon for every fight you win you get 5 grand, but 5 grand doesn't come for free. Also I believe you need to have an antagonist in the film who will challenge the protagonist. Sure, Dominique Le Braque doesn't do the killing, but he pays people to do that. He's far too evil and calculating to get his hands dirty.
KARL: I think it’s Le Braque being a psycho but also covering his tracks once the fighters are no longer useful to him. I liked the visual association between his throwing a rose in the ring and the losing fighter getting capped. Why the ref gets stuck doing all of the shootings, I’m not sure. The refs in these things barely ever matter, so maybe they wanted to elevate the position a bit.

What was your favorite scene?
JADE: Mine was when they catch Angelica having some sexy times with Rick, and Dominique just loses it, but it is so damn funny. Every time I watch it, I get in fits of laughter.
KARL: Is that the archery scene in the morning? I recall that Le Braque makes an off-color remark about cutting off Rick’s balls and broiling his dick that had such strange line delivery. I liked that one plus every awkward dinner scene with Quinn and his hosts.  

What do you think makes this film different from other chopsocky films?
JADETo the Death is cheesy, and at times very over the top and so cliche, however I believe it's not just your run of the mill chopsocky film. I think To the Death could have had a really big world wide following if it was marketed just a bit better. I also think back in 1992 everyone was Van Damme crazy so if you see his films, you get a bit spoilt as everything he was doing back then was amazing. Also in 1992 you had films like Universal SoldierUnder SiegeHard Boiled, and Police Story 3 being released, so it was hard competing.
KARL: It struck me when I first watched it: this film is actually quite dark and sleazy. You have a rich crazy asshole who runs death matches, terrorizes his own wife, and sets up an elaborate sports car explosion when a fighter turns down his offer. Rick has a self-destructive downward spiral and then gets drawn into this nutcase’s home life and all its depravities. I remarked that this was Blue Velvet-era David Lynch doing a chopsocky movie and I’m standing by that. Le Braque isn’t huffing nitrous oxide or screaming about Pabst Blue Ribbon, but he’s not far off.


What did you think about the opening song, and do you think it should have also been used for a training montage? Do you believe it can be put on those “fire-up” song lists with the likes of the Bloodsport or Rocky soundtracks?
KARL: It’s entertaining, but not on that level for me. It sounded reminiscent of the closing song from Double Impact mashed with a New Kids on the Block attempt at 90s hip-hop. Not really my thing. Of course, I say this as a guy who gets fired up by “Final Countdown” by Europe, so maybe my opinion doesn’t count for much.

Would you have liked to have seen more fighting?
JADE: I thought at times there should have been less of Rick trying to bang Angelica and a lot more fighting.
KARL: My answer will almost always be yes. But I think so much of what makes this a unique film within the genre are the non-action elements. Le Braque isn’t a fighter, but he has the best lines and is probably the most entertaining part of the film. The smoking clown announcer doesn’t throw a single kick but I’ll remember him forever.

Have you shown this film to anyone? If so, what was their reaction?
JADE: I’ve shown my younger brother when he was probably about 10, and he was saying it was good to humour me I think, and possibly to get me to shut up. I also showed it to two of my best friends who also have a love for this kind of thing, and they all got a massive kick out of it.
KARL: I haven’t, and I’m not sure that I would push this one very hard. Films like Miami Connection or Ninja Turf are a bit more accessible because of the 80s kitsch, so I think they’re safer bets to translate for crowds unfamiliar with these sorts of movies.

Why the hell isn't this on DVD?
KARL: That’s the million-dollar question, isn’t it? A little surprising too, given that it was a Cannon Films release. I think it has potential to be something of an underground cult film, but I think the best we can hope for is seeing it as part of a cheap multi-disc Bluray when the format is in its last gasp.  




Do you believe that To the Death is a film that you are going to keep re-watching until your own death?
JADE: I know I will, I have had so much enjoyment from watching this film, and I have made many memories in the process. For me there is an addictive additive in these kinds of films, which is why I just re-watch them over and over again. I mean films like To the DeathMiami Connection and King of the Kickboxers would definitely be in my top 100 films of all time.

KARL: I try not to ruminate too much on my own death, but I’ll take the bait. I could see revisiting it once every few years but this is something to be savored. There's way too much out there I haven't seen, so to rewatch something means it has to be rarified air (at least top ten) for me.

7.28.2014

Reviews on Parade (to Hiatusville) and the GGTMC

While it was announced solely in the Facebook group -- yet another reason why you should absolutely request to join! -- the blog is currently on hiatus so I can recharge. Life has increasingly gotten in the way, as it often does, and things other than underground fights to the death and punching watermelons require my attention. Hard to believe, I know! That doesn’t mean this space will disappear any time soon, nor does it mean I’ll stop watching these kinds of movies. However, it may mean that ongoing coverage takes on different and less frequent forms than rambling 1200-word critical essays and cartoonish screen-caps of mulleted dudes mean-mugging.

Case in point, here’s what is hopefully the first of several “highlight reel” videos from what I’ve unofficially dubbed the “Burnt Ends” series. This installment is for the 1991 Gary Daniels masterpiece, American Streetfighter, or as it’s known overseas, Samurai Sword Fight in a Funeral Parlor. Please feel free to leave comments on this (positive or negative, as always) here or on YouTube.



PLUS! On the most recent episode of the Gentlemen’s Guide to Midnite Cinema podcast, I joined Large William and the Samurai to discuss the flaming skeletons and flying chickens of 1984’s Furious, and the proper tuck game and overt racism of 1992’s College Kickboxers. Click here to hear us discuss disproportionate stuntman screams, the futile nature of sex in hot tubs, and 1980s copyright law, among other topics.

To conclude, I just wanted to let the reader-only crowd know what was up. Reviews may be quiet for a little while as I get life sorted out, but they’re not gone. Please consider joining the Facebook group for more regular (and lively) activity and discussion. Be kind to animals and the elderly. Eat more bananas.

12.16.2013

When B-List Goes Hollywood: Part 2

The last time we scoured the earth for martial arts b-film actors in mainstream film and television productions, we found nearly a dozen offbeat appearances. Billy Blanks celebrated a touchdown in a Bruce Willis movie by offing himself, Don Wilson nearly kicked Tom Green in the face, and Jerry Trimble acted alongside Al Pacino in an overstuffed Michael Mann crime film. By no means was that list comprehensive though; our team of researchers* has uncovered a group of eight more.

* Me

Jeff Wincott - Prom Night (1980)
Before he was beating up on Dave Matthews in Lake City or playing undercover cops pretending to be homeless on The Wire, Jeff Wincott was fighting the likes of Matthias Hues and starring in a barrage of PM Entertainment releases. Before *that* however, he was rocking a blonde moptop and tuxedo shirt as a rapey meathead in Paul Lynch’s 1980 Canadian slasher Prom Night.



Chuck Jeffreys - Ghost Dog (1990)
Including Chuck Jeffreys again might be a little obvious considering his prolific career as both Hollywood stunt coordinator and performer. But I chose to list this one because even though Jeffreys’s appearance as a mugger is fleeting and he gets his ass kicked by an old man carrying groceries, I do love Henry Silva making elk noises, and I dig the work of Jim Jarmusch. A personal favorite.



Billy Blanks - Kiss the Girls (1997)
Plays a kickboxing instructor, surprises no one.



Rion Hunter? - The Doors (1991)
I can't confirm this appearance at all. It’s a total shot in the dark and I'm only going by the listed IMDb credit. Given that the NRNS3 super-villain is credited as "Indian in the desert," I watched The Doors with particular attention paid to the desert scenes, with especially close attention paid to the desert scenes involving Native Americans. Hunter was not the dying old Native American man near the beginning of the film. He was not the Native American man with the hat played by Wes Studi. He was also not the Native American man in the cave. I can only conclude then, that Rion Hunter played the naked blurry Indian on horseback on a distant sand dune during the peyote trip scene.



Don Wilson - Batman Forever (1995)
Under a mask of glow-in-the-dark face-paint, Don Wilson is virtually unrecognizable as a gang leader in Batman Forever. This role was historically significant for three main reasons: 1) this is the only film I can recall where Wilson actually plays a villain; 2) this is the film where the first Batman franchise officially went off the rails; and 3) you can observe the exact moment where Chris O’Donnell’s film career peaked upon beating Wilson in a hand-to-hand fight.



Matthias Hues - Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country (1991)
Hues plays a hulking Klingon general alongside British heavyweight actors Christopher Plummer and David Warner. While a cool role, this wasn’t exactly new territory for Hues; he played an alien drug dealer two years earlier in the Dolph Lundgren actioner I Come in Peace.



Loren Avedon - Baywatch (1993)
Failing to ask Loren Avedon in two consecutive interviews about his guest appearance on Baywatch as the evil underground fighter Michael Branson will go down as one of my great regrets in life. How many performers in Hollywood can claim that they got paid to pretend to kick and punch The Hoff in the face? Of those performers, how many can also say that they got to engage in fisticuffs with the innovator of a cash-printing fitness craze? Only one: Loren Avedon.



Mark Dacascos - Iron Chef America (2004-2013)
Whether or not he ever tops the high watermark achieved in 1997’s Drive, Mark Dacascos will also forever be known to mainstream audiences as the wild-eyed dude shouting “SECRET INGREDIENT: ______!” in every episode of Iron Chef America. There’s a possibility that Dacascos is prohibited from munching down on the chefs’ creations and forced to eat mayonnaise sandwiches from catering, but he still has the cushiest and most regular mainstream acting gig of anything we’ve listed here.


Any others come to mind? Leave them in a comment below!

1.08.2013

Fist of Feature: The Year in Search


A burgeoning area in the world of Internet marketing, search engine optimization is not something to which we pay much attention here at Fist of B-List. However, in my annual review of back-end web analytics -- coincidentally, conducted about 15 minutes before writing this feature -- I discovered a number of interesting searches that led users here during the 2012 calendar year. I’m consistently amazed that anyone besides me actually reads this stuff, so I just wanted to highlight some of the more unique starting points. In no particular order, here are the ten most unique searches which brought users to this blog in 2012.

“shower sex”
A 2008 study by the Center for Disease Control and Prevention found that an estimated 234,094 nonfatal bathroom injuries were treated in the U.S., making shower sex a risky proposition. A major disparity in height can make sex in the shower terribly uncomfortable. Hard water can cause painful losses in the body's natural lubrication. Arguments can arise out of the differences between preferences in water pressure and temperature. None of this stopped the filmmakers behind 1992's Talons of the Eagle from featuring a shower sex scene between Jalal Merhi and veteran actress Priscilla Barnes, because it looked pretty good on VHS. This was the most popular search leading users to this blog in the past year.

“don the dragon wilson is a doctor”
Is not! He’s a martial arts actor and former kickboxing champion!


Oh. I stand corrected.

“just want a list of movies made about fucking highschool movies where a janitor teaches the new kid how to defend himslef”
Sometimes you want to find out what’s coming out on the Criterion Collection label in 2013. Other times you want to know the best movies of 2012. Other times you just want a list of movies made about fucking high school movies where a janitor teaches the new kid how to defend himself.

“fridays with tadashi yamashita”
If nothing else, the obscure 1980s late-night sketch comedy show Fridays was famous for a staged melee involving Andy Kaufman and future Seinfeld cast member Michael Richards. But who knew that American Ninja actor Tadashi Yamashita was the host?

“my wife beat me”
Sorry to hear that. Maybe you should stop spending so much time on the Internet and learn how to properly defend yourself.

“b-rated martial arts actor with blond hair and a black belt in martial arts in the 1980's”

 Oh, OK. That narrows it down.

“why you shouldn’t smoke weed”
...and Fist of B-List comes up in the search results.

“does the billy blanks movie, back in action, have any rape scenes”
Nope, only murder, drug trafficking, and Canada’s McNamara brothers. Hope that helps!

“bolo yeung get in the soup”
Come on, Bolo! What are you waiting for?


“lost hacky sack”
Maybe you shouldn’t have smoked all that weed.

Any strange turns of phrase that brought users to your blog or website recently? Share them in the comments below.


11.21.2011

Fist of Further Reading: Super Marcey's Super Website


My freakish and borderline obsessive enthusiasm for the No Retreat, No Surrender trilogy is perhaps eclipsed by only one other film reviewer: the excellence of Oceania, Super Marcey of supermarcey.com. In addition to her Strandbergian leanings, she puts together podcasts, audio commentaries, and even did a rare audio interview with FoBL favorite Loren Avedon. Her website is a great source for film reviews spanning all genres (the Recommendations section turned me onto Red Hill) and she has a tremendous web presence.

Jump Off Posts:
Loren Avedon Interview
No Retreat, No Surrender Audio Commentary
The American Ninja Franchise

11.12.2011

Fist of Further Reading: Direct to Video Connoisseur


Direct to Video Connoisseur

I sometimes marvel at the fact we've been able to churn out so many reviews on such a narrow niche genre like Western chopsocky films. Then I look at the Direct to Video Connoisseur blog and his several hundred posts and I feel like a slack-jawed waster. He's well on his way to over a thousand posts; those are Rice/Ripken/Abdul-Jabbar numbers. Active for nearly four years, the DtVC is a great source for coverage of everything from Hauser to Hopper and Lundgren to Dudikoff and everything in between. He also counts FoBL favorites like Cynthia Rothrock and Gary Daniels among the many inductees to the DtVC Hall of Fame. His writing style is punchy but informative, and forgoes a ratings system in lieu of more contextualized opinion. As a bonus, he almost always notes the circumstances under which he acquires his film copies, which is helpful for comparative purposes when you’re about to drop $65 on a factory-sealed DVD of a Jeff Wincott movie.

Jump-Off Post: Van Damme Film Fest

10.16.2011

Fist of Further Reading: Comeuppance Reviews


Comeuppance Reviews

Brett and Ty, the guys at Comeuppance Reviews, stick almost exclusively to direct-to-video action movies, a net obviously wide enough to include a ton of martial arts film. They’re pioneers of sorts, having coined the term “punchfighter” to tidily describe “movies about underground bare-knuckle fighting that spectators bet on.” They use a star system (0-4) and their reviews tend to vary in length, which may be directly proportionate to how much enthusiasm (or lack thereof) they have for the subject matter. You can always count on some great one-liners and oddball selections, including a lot of out-of-print stuff; you might get a PM Entertainment flick one week and an old 1970s William Smith actioner the next.

Jump-Off Post: Night of the Kickfighters review

9.29.2011

Fist of Further Reading: The Gentlemen's Guide to Midnite Cinema


The Gentlemen's Guide to Midnite Cinema

This is the rare podcast for which I'll delay all other music and podcast listening when their episodes drop. Hosted by Big Willie and The Samurai, the GGtMC has a high degree of relistenability and you'll want to keep a notepad nearby to jot down the various names and titles referenced throughout the runtime of each episode. It's a special kind of podcast that features nuanced and sophisticated discussion of film without making the slide towards pretension, while also leaving room for quips about boobs, mustaches, leather pants, and mesh tank tops. If you consider yourself a fan of genre films (or mesh tank tops), I can't recommend it strongly enough.

Jump Off Episodes:

Episode 99: Undefeatable Butthorn - This was the first episode I recall that made me laugh uncontrollably during my morning commute as NYC subway riders watched me nervously and made snide comments. The gents bring in Pickleloaf (co-host of the Silva and Gold podcast) to lay the critical smack down on Godfrey Ho's Undefeatable and the Gary Busey action trash romp Bulletproof. Brace yourself fools!

Episode 136: Super Violators - One of the more action-heavy episodes the Gentlemen have produced. Hilarious reviews of the Strandberg-penned Seasonal Films gem Superfights and the b-grade action opus Parole Violators.

Episode 143: Night Breathing - I'm showing totally blatant bias by plugging an episode that I had the good fortune to program, but they did cover FoBL favorite, Breathing Fire, so it's still relevant. Also features coverage of the terrific psychological thriller Night Warning with Susan Tyrrell and Bo Svenson.

9.14.2011

Fist of Further Reading: Exiled from Contentment


Exiled from Contentment

Unlike a lot of sites I like to highlight, I have very little content overlap with Exiled from Contentment. I call him out almost solely because he's one of my favorite film writers to read, whether he's covering Michael Bay movies or a sizzling chop of 1970s genre cinema like Prime Cut. Memories are hazy, but I think I came across EFC initially while performing drunken web searches for Kill Squad or Hard Target or Albert Pyun. Most important, it’s the only blog for which I routinely violate my rule about avoiding posts in excess of 1500 words. EFC has a self-effacing, rant-like style of writing laced with profanity and coated with pure gold and he looks at new and old films alike. Even better, he’s one of many lucky bastards who lives within traveling distance of the Tarantino-owned New Beverly Cinema and his write-ups of their double features are required reading.

Jump-Off Post: Hard Target

8.17.2011

Fist of Further Reading: One-Armed Liebster Meets the Five Deadly Blogs

For the past several weeks, I’ve been mulling over ways I might be able to more actively promote blog and site content that I dig. Blogrolls, while succinct, don’t really put recommended reading into context. My efforts to champion the great and relevant work of others who share similar cinematic interests will be a running feature going forward, but a recent development has given me a starting point.

Fist of B-List was called out as a recipient of the Liebster Award by my very good friend, Aaron of The Death Rattle. In addition to his work there, he’s also El Jefe for The Gentlemen’s Blog to Midnite Cinema, so in short, he’s one of the hardest-working dudes in genre film coverage. Be sure to check out his written work as well as his terrific guest appearance on The Gentlemen’s Guide to Midnite Cinema podcast, where he, Big Willie, and the Samurai covered the first two Howling movies. It will put hair on your balls (and probably your back).

Those who receive the Liebster Award are charged with passing on the achievement to five other blogs of their choosing, but each must have less than 200 Followers. There were plenty of folks I wanted to call out for their excellent work, but it seems only blogs that display their Followers gadget are eligible. So here are five that meet both criteria: having less than 200 regular readers, and being awesome on the regular.


The Ninja Squid - An awesome gal who features her art work, perfect screen captures and captions for films, and unbridled love for martial arts and Anthony Wong. A million times, yes.

Ninja Dixon - There’s always room for another blog with “ninja” in the title, especially when it features great writing about genre cinema from around the world.

Video Junkie Strikes Back from Beyond the Grave - Need proof that we’re blogging brothers from another mother? Check out the running Gweilo Dojo feature. Hilarious reviews of some really obscure cinema.

Lone Wolves and Hidden Dragons - The two authors have other blogs as well, but you need look no further for your Asian genre cinema fix.

When the Vietnam War raged... in the Philippines - One of the most unique editorial concepts you’re likely to find in the wide world of genre film blogging, executed to absolute perfection. Fantastic reading.

7.11.2011

When B-List Goes Hollywood: Ten Random Appearances by Martial Arts Actors in Mainstream Media

Partly because I have too much free time, but mostly because of this blog (which was more or less born out of having too much free time), I often pore over the filmographies of martial arts b-movie actors to track down films to review. Because of the niche skill-sets that these actors brandish, many of them have done little else but martial arts or action film and television work. Thus, most of my searches reveal no surprises. Every once in a while, though, I’ll stumble across an acting credit that’s unique because of the role the actor is playing, or because of the visibility of the production itself. When an actor jumps from PM Entertainment to an 8 PM prime-time television slot, it’s cause for celebration. Plenty of martial arts b-movie actors have logged screen-time in mainstream film and television productions. Some of these I knew and some were new to me, but compiled below is a short and random list of some of my favorite examples.


Dale Jacoby - Step by Step (1994)
The owner of one of the most incredible early-90s pompadours in action film history had few roles where he didn’t play a raging, Zabka-lite douchebag. So it’s no great surprise that he visited familiar territory for this supporting television role on a 1994 episode of TGIF’s saccharine stepfamily sitcom, Step by Step. Jacoby plays an evil and arrogant karate coach opposite Sasha Mitchell’s Zen-surfer martial artist, Cody, who’s trying to instill the fighting spirit in his nerdy step-cousin. The casting is a little less random when you consider that Jacoby and Mitchell worked together on Albert Pyun’s Kickboxer sequel in 1991.



Chuck Jeffreys - Pootie Tang (2001)
It was a bit of an inevitability that the Shaolin Wushu expert and Bloodmoon co-star would appear on this list. His list of various stunt credits in Hollywood productions is impressive and he’s one of the most prolific American fight coordinators of the modern film age. In a two-decade career that’s found him training Wesley Snipes for sword battles in the Blade films and choreographing fights in Spider-Man, perhaps none of his cinematic contributions were more memorable than selling the awesome power of the belt in the 2001 cult comedy Pootie Tang. Sine your pitty on the runny kine!



Jeff Wincott - The Wire (2008)
Jeff Wincott is probably the most “actorly” of the bunch on this list and has had a ton of mainstream film and television roles (The Invasion and last year’s Unstoppable among them). After combing through his credits, I’d narrowed it down to his role as an undercover "homeless" cop on HBO's The Wire, or his part in 2008’s Lake City, where he plays a menacing drug kingpin who slaps the shit out of Dave Matthews and strangles his balls, striking a mighty blow for jam-band haters everywhere. Odd as that might be, it gets no bigger than the series finale of the best television show in history.



Cynthia Rothrock - Eye for an Eye (1996)
More than any other part listed here, Rothrock’s role as a self-defense instructor is so short and fleeting that you will literally miss it if you blink. A Sally Field revenge thriller is pretty much the last place you’d expect to find a martial arts actor of Rothrock’s stature, but you can’t blame her for taking a break from the Herculean task of carrying Jalal Merhi to watchable movies.



Matthias Hues, Big Top Pee Wee (1988)
If you can find something more random than Matthias Hues running around in a lion-tamer’s outfit acting alongside Kris Kristofferson in this oft-reviled sequel to Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure, I will give you my last can of Crystal Pepsi.



Loren Avedon - In Living Color (1991)
What makes Avedon’s cameo on the legendary Fox sketch-comedy show interesting is not that he plays a redneck cowboy, or even that he has to sell a terrible stomach punch by Damon Wayans (playing hilarious vocabulary manipulator Oswald Bates). Rather, this guest role came shortly after what arguably remains his best and most popular film, The King of the Kickboxers. Avedon shouldn’t feel too bad though; Wayans pilfered his co-star for a role in another mainstream production on this list.



Don “The Dragon” Wilson - Stealing Harvard (2002)
I was ready to put The Dragon down for his role as the gang leader who sets his day-glo goons on Robin in Joel Schumacher’s Batman Forever. However, because the skull make-up turned him nearly unrecognizable, and “gang leader” isn’t quite so strange a part for a martial arts actor, I had to give top prize to his even more random role in the 2002 comedy Stealing Harvard. Wilson counted the late Chris Penn as one of his best friends in Hollywood and plays one of the Reservoir Dogs star’s drug gang thugs. Seeing him as a neon nightmare in a superhero summer blockbuster is pretty cool, but the viewing experience of the Bloodfist star trying to kick Tom Green’s head off while adorned in not much more than flip-flops and boxer shorts is fucking surreal.



Gary Daniels - The Expendables (2010)
There’s nothing unusual about a prolific DTV action star playing a supporting role in a Hollywood action production. What makes Gary Daniels’s role in the 2010 action throwback The Expendables unique is that Sylvester Stallone had literally dozens of actors he could have used to stoke the flames of action b-film nostalgia. While most of Gary’s action scenes in the film fell victim to choppy editing and the dreaded Hollywood shaky-cam, his inclusion suggests that Stallone has at least some admiration for DTV action of the 1990s. This might portend more interesting casting choices when you consider the rumor that Stallone’s vision for the sequel will be a “love letter to martial arts.” GASP.



Billy Blanks - The Last Boy Scout (1991)
I apologize to those of you who have been unable to fit this film into your viewing schedule at some point during the last 20 years, but Blanks might have the most impactful screen time of all the parts listed here. As star football running-back Billy Cole, Blanks has the joy of doing a bunch of PCP at halftime during a game and then shooting several would-be tacklers with a firearm during a breakaway running route in the film’s opening. After scoring a touchdown, he blows his brains out. Umm... Tae-Bo anyone?



Jerry Trimble - Heat (1995)
In his film debut, champion kickboxer Jerry Trimble played a mulleted drug dealer who gets his face burned with a space heater in The King of the Kickboxers. Five years later, he had a speaking part in some marginally successful crime drama directed by Michael Mann, and starring actors like Robert De Niro, Al Pacino, Val Kilmer, Jon Voight, and Natalie Portman. Um...so...yeah. Jerry Trimble rules this list forever.



I know that I’ve missed a ton of equally deserving parts, so feel free to contribute your favorites in the comments below.

4.14.2011

Fist of Feature: Cinematic Alphabet of Fury

Over the past week or so, my Twitter and RSS feeds have been pummeled with an assault of cinematic alphabets. I’ve been told it’s the cool new thing, that all the kids (who have film blogs) are doing it. I’m typically not one for lists but I liked the conceptual approach and my skimming led to a healthy influx of films on my watchlists and queues, respectively. Not a bad thing. Unless your queue is maxed out, which mine is.

Because of the fairly limited critical scope utilized here on Fist of B-List, I initially balked at putting an alphabet of my own together. There was no way I’d be able to come up with 26 Western martial-arts b-movies to satisfy the criteria. After running through a practice run, this proved true (FUCK YOU J, Q, V, X, and Z.) So I expanded the pool to include all martial-arts film … and still found the exercise challenging. Wherever possible, I wanted to emphasize movies that have either flown under the radar, strongly demand a watch … or simply happened to be the only film that fit the bill (still looking at you, Q).

A is for AMERICAN KICKBOXER 2


B is for BLOODMOON


C is for CHOCOLATE


D is for DEATH MACHINES


E is for EXECUTIONERS FROM SHAOLIN


F is for FATAL CHASE


G is for THE GUYVER: DARK HERO


H is for HONOR AND GLORY


I is for INVINCIBLE ARMOR


J is for JAKA SEMBUNG (aka THE WARRIOR)


K is for KING OF THE KICKBOXERS


L is for LIVE BY THE FIST


M is for MISSION OF JUSTICE


N is for NO RETREAT, NO SURRENDER 2: RAGING THUNDER


O is for OPIUM AND THE KUNG FU MASTER


P is for PRODIGAL SON


Q is for A QUEEN’S RANSOM (aka INTERNATIONAL ASSASSIN)


R is for RAGE


S is for SAKURA KILLERS


T is for THE TAI CHI MASTER


U is for UNDISPUTED 2


V is for THE VICTIM


W is for WHEELS ON MEALS


X is for X-TREME FIGHTER (aka SCI-FIGHTERS)


Y is for THE YOUNG MASTER


Z is for ZOMBIE VS. NINJA


Feel free to leave your own in the comments below.
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...